Most marketing
is matcha.
We make
the bad batch.

FOR: Anyone paying someone to run their ad accounts and wondering what actually happens in them.

• →Read-only watchdog over your ad accounts
• →Daily updates and alerts, priced in dollars
• →Change history on Meta and Google Ads: who touched what, and when
• →Ready-to-send fix-it brief for whoever runs your ad accounts: copy, paste, done

KPI: Every Meta and Google Ads change surfaced and attributed, every day.

FOR: Anyone who wants the truth about their funnel, fast.

• →Full-funnel teardown: a video walkthrough of your real accounts
• →An extensive written report + one-page board summary
• →3 specific quick wins
• →1 honest recommendation

KPI: The truth about your funnel in five days, with the numbers behind it.

FOR: Anyone who wants a taste of the roast before buying the meal.

• →Paste your website, get an instant teardown
• →Built only from what's publicly visible
• →Inferences flagged as inferences, nothing invented
• →The results land in your inbox too

KPI: The truth about your public page, in under a minute.

FOR: Pre-seed and seed startups. $0–$1M ARR.

• →Positioning doc + brand voice corpus
• →Landing page (copy + design + build)
• →Lifecycle email flows (welcome, abandon, win-back)
• →Week-1 paid pilot (Meta or Google)

KPI: A first-pass CAC benchmark, signed in writing.

FOR: Series A–B. $1M–$10M ARR.

• →Full-funnel paid: Meta + Google + 1 experimental
• →CRO program: 2 active tests, weekly post-test reports
• →Lifecycle: 4 active flows, 2 broadcasts/week
• →6+ new creative variants per week

KPI: Target blended CAC, defined in pod contract. Renegotiated quarterly.

FOR: DTC and consumer brands wanting cultural lift.

• →Organic social on 3 platforms (you pick)
• →4–6 paid placements/mo + 20+ gifted seedings
• →PR-style content seeding (no press releases)
• →Paid amplification of best-performing organic

KPI: Branded search lift. Earned reach. Attributed revenue from social-first creative.

FOR: B2B SaaS, $1M–$20M ARR. Sales-led or PLG.

• →ABM-style outbound (warm only, no spam)
• →LinkedIn paid + organic (founder + brand handles)
• →4 long-form pieces/mo + 16 LinkedIn posts/mo
• →Demand-capture SEO on bottom-funnel queries

KPI: SQLs delivered. Pipeline created. Win rate on attributed deals.

FOR: Large, late-stage brands. White-glove.

• →Embedded agent ops across all your channels
• →Custom integrations to your stack
• →Dedicated human strategist + agent team
• →Named team. Weekly exec sync.

KPI: Custom, typically 3–5 metrics tied to your existing exec dashboard.