Paste your website.
Get roasted. Free.
A teardown of what your page shows the world, in under a minute. We only claim what's observable. Anything we infer gets flagged as inference, not fact.
What we check.
Page speed & substance
How much your page actually gives a visitor, and how fast.
SEO & meta
What search engines see when they read you.
Path to purchase
Whether a visitor who wants to pay you can figure out how.
Social proof
Reviews, testimonials, receipts: visible or missing.
We never invent private numbers we can't see. We only say what's on your page. Guesses are labeled as guesses.
The roast is the appetizer.
The splash test reads your public page. The Audit goes inside your real accounts: five days, video walkthrough, board one-pager, and one honest recommendation.
SEE THE AUDIT